God’s Child

you have never let me know
you have always been around
when I needed you the most
you decided to stay close
that’s why I love you so much
you always stayed in touched
so close and never far away
I care about you but like you cared for me
I love you
you showed me your love
by dying on the cross for me
I’m not sure if I ever truly thanked you
I will forever prove to you my love for you
what you did
it’s unmatched
no one has ever topped your love
it feels like heaven
something beautiful
with your love
all I can do is say
Thank you & I love you

Will you help

I sit here
Just here
And wait
Don’t know what I’m waiting for
But I just sit here
It makes me feel safe
The feeling keeps me warm
It protects my heart
Especially through the storms
I try not to cry
Because I want you to see I’m strong
But I feel weak
I don’t want to carry on
I want everything to just stop
I want everything to go away
I want world peace
I want time
I want God to hear me when I pray
I want to speak
I want to use my voice
I don’t want to be me
But I have no choice
What other options are here
When I’m standing right here
I guess I have to take control
I guess I have to follow my heart
I guess I have to be the strong one
Even though it’s not in my heart
I have to rise up
I have to make sense of it all
I have to be brave
Otherwise,
I’ll crumble and fall
But would you help me?
Help me see it clearly
The path that I cant see
I wonder if that would make me happy
Well happy as I can be
So what do you say
Will you help me

Help Me

I want to believe
But I don’t understand what you are showing me
I want to believe
But it’s killing me
I want to believe
But is it for my own good
I want to believe
Give me your eyes so I can see
I want to believe
But it’s hard to let go
I want to believe
But my thoughts are doubting what I see
I want to believe
But I don’t think you can hear me
I want to believe
To believe in something good
To believe in something loving
To believe in something me
Help me
Help you
Set me free
From what my eyes are telling me to see
I want to believe
I want to see
Do you believe me

Voices

I try to stay alive
Because I want to see what I can be
I can be his glory
But he won’t let me
I can be free
I can let him see me
God, do you hear me?
I just want to be happy
Can you do that for me

Title

Back to basics
Why do I keep making the same mistakes
What’s wrong with me
Why cant it juts work out for me
If I cry it will just show weakness
If I smile it will be fake
All these emotions running through me
I don’t know how to react
My mood changes daily
I think I need space
Space between you and me
I don’t see anything beautiful about me
My heart is not in it
It’s left the building
Why can’t I control this feeling
This pain that I’m breathing in

Hope

You will be happy
You will find peace
You will be okay
You are not done
You got this
You are strong
You will stay blessed
You never feel let down
You are beautiful
You got the gift
You work through this
You are never alone
You are not your past mistakes
You have what makes the world great
You are loved
You are sunshine
You are the hope that we have been looking for

Help me believe

This pain
It’s killing me
It’s just there
It won’t leave
Lord, please remove it
Do what you do best
I want to rest
I have failed this test
I don’t want to repeat this story
Help me see
Help me believe
Allow me
Not use to believing
Believing in me
I guess it shows
Lord my hands are in yours
Lost without any plan
Shoot me a lifeline
Practice what you preach
Guide me with your strength
Help me see
Help me believe
I want to see
The plan that you have for me
What do I have to do to break free
I hope you are listening to me
So that one day I can use this pain as my testimony

 

The Tell-All

Today is just one of those days I guess
I wake up
Brush my teeth
Then took my shower
I get dressed
Do my hair
All of this takes a least an hour
Then I look in the mirror
And practice smiling
Pretending that everything is okay
I have my breakfast
Then look at my messages
Watch the news to see what’s going on
Whilst looking outside hoping not for a thunderstorm
I put my shoes on
Then grab my bag
I open my front door
Still feeling a bit sad
I walk past my neighbour
And use my fake smile I practiced

I get to the train station
Listing to positive podcasts for motivation
I get on the train looking for a good spot to sit
I take a deep breath
Went to the station
As the train doors open I jump
I was ready to go to work
Today I wonder this is it
I make small talk with everyone
Holding my tears inside
I keep looking at the clock waiting
Waiting for it to hit 5pm

I breathe in
I sort myself out
Then get ready for home time
My workers want to go out for drinks
They invite me over
I think
One might be fine
Then I realise
I have to make small talk
That would be too kind
I don’t think they would want to hear my thoughts
Or even like the way I talk
So I decline

I pretend that I have to rush home for a delivery
That was the best excuse I could think of you see
I rush out and walk to the tube
I get on my 5.40pm train
And sit next to an old man
Opposite me, there’s a mother and a child
They playing together
When the child smiles
The mother smiles wider
Watching them I couldn’t be happier

I get off my stop and make my way home
It won’t be too long until I’m alone
I open my house door
I say hello but no response
I guess no one is in
I eat some food I found in the kitchen.
I take on my shoes
My feet start to hurt
Run up the stairs whiles taking off my shirt

I walk past the big mirror that I always look at in the mornings
I didn’t want to see me face
That’s how I was feeling.
I put my PJs on
And crawl into bed
I put myself to sleep
Hoping I wake up dead
I play some light music to keep me company
I turn off my phone
I don’t want no one to bother me
I close my eyes with a smile on my face
Hoping that tomorrow this will be my final resting place

I’m Tired

I’m tired
I’m tired of being a stranger in my own neighbourhood
I’m tired of you presenting me as I’m from the hood
I’m tired of hearing my own voice
But I don’t have a choice
I’m tired of feeling pain
I’m tired of hearing the same stories again and again
I’m tired because my back hurts
Because all I do is work
I’m tired that of you being afraid
When I’ve done nothing wrong
I’m tired of recalling my struggles
But I will still march on
I’m tired that my identity is always misrepresented
I’m tired that you take my life for granted
I’m tired of trying to read your mind
I’m tired of feeling unloved
Love is blind
I’m tired of waking up and not staying up
I’m tired of this bad luck
I’m tired of adjusting to every situation am in
I’m tired of you putting me in second place
I’m tired always winning the race
I’m tired of not getting second chances
I am beautiful
I use it to my advantages
I’m tired of not being normal
As that is what you see me as
I’m tired of saying “this too shall pass”
I’m tired of biting my tongue
Because my justice isn’t the same as yours
You might get praised
Whiles my friends might die for a cause
I’m tired of apologising
Because I know how your mind works
I’m tired this injustice
Because it hurts
You see the world one way
I see another
You see love
I see the hatred people have for my brothers and sisters
Spent years trying to figure out why
Why is there a price on my head
I don’t want to die
I’m tired of what is brought to the table
It’s cheap and unclean
Heal my wounds
Treat me like yourself
Treat me like an actual normal human being
I’m tired of everything that I’m seeing
But I wish you well
I just wish you understand my life
The life that I’m living

The Norm

Tell me what do you see

A mother crying

A father in agony

Or a child just wishing to be free

Tell me

Tell me what you see

A nation asking for justice

Constructed by the notion of hatred

Created by weak-minded people

Its strength and love that holds people together

That’s the reality

But it’s not what you see

The media presents a different reality

That we will never be free

Because being free means equality

To which can never be

Because you don’t see me as neighbour

This makes it harder

Harder to come together

My mind causes conflict with yours

Knowledge is power

It’s your choice to observe it of course

There is no wrong or right way to take action

It’s all about the reason behind the action

It’s not just for attention

It’s to show you that there is darkness in life

But you can bring the light

We can work for justice

That’s if you are ready to fight

But if you are not

Then why are you here

What is your sense of reality

Because I do not follow what you preach

Let me explain to you

What I seek is what to preach

I keep my eyes open and my mouth never shut

Never afraid of the world around me

This is how I grew up

Always fight to die what is right

Keep in touch

But before you go

Tell me what you see

I want to know

I feel its I feel it’s necessary to tell me what you see